Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I party with great urgency now.
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