Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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