You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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