these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
