If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm sobbing to NWA
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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