Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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