What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
