Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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