ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
