i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
