bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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