how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
thus making me awesome and them whores
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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