I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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