need another drink. this is the easiest way
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I did not marry a roomba.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
