what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
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Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
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I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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