garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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