Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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