My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
