Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
