i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
