I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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