You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
