Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
