What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
