He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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