the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
