SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
