once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
