i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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