we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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