Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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