i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
