I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
