Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He passed out mid-signature
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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