Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
