Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
