a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
