You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
