Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
