are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
