have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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