Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
