i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
