wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
