Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
