i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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