ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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