She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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