This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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