This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
