His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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