I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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