guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
