How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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