i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
