What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
