everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
