i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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