Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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