He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
