): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
