Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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