Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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